Thursday, April 12, 2018

SO I MADE IT....I'M 60

Yep hard to believe I made it to 60. Never thought it would happen. I remember seeing obituaries when I was younger, much younger, all these people dying at 70, 72 wow good long life right....until you are closer to the end of your life than the beginning. Nothing really changed at 60 or at 50, 40 I still got up went to work did the school thing came home cooked dinner same old same old!!

Made it through another Christmas, too. What started out as being dinner for 8 turned into dinner for 14. First Steve's mom and Mike changed their minds and came ok ten is no  problem. Then Steve's old room mate Justin had a few days to visit, whats one more now we are 11...oh Chris may not be working..ok 12.... then Christmas morning Rachel tells me Bob and Trevor...the twins as they will forever be known, are alone...I had forgotten their mom moved to Florida this them and invite them, we are now 14, oh but Chris did work, double time, so we were 13. Things were a bit tight, but there was plenty of food, good conversation, and company....all in all a good day...

only thing missing was Gee...

So as you can gather I wrote this a few months ago, I don't know why I didn't post it....probably started feeling sorry for myself. So why revisit and maybe post an "updated" version....Found out yesterday all the para positions at the Middle School are being cut next year unless the city passes a 21/2 override, maybe, we are of coarse the last to be reinstated on the list.  So 5 floor paras, all women over 60, are cut, Five women who have worked at GMS for between 10-27 years are now looking for a "home" as Gee would say. We 5 are sitting at the top of the pay ladder for paras, which isn't very high more of a step stool. The lowest paid of all city employees. So now we fight for the right to bump another employee to try to keep a job in a school system where we are not valued.

So I will begin to weigh my far do you think someone who has spent the last 10 years reteaching 7th grade math and science will get??? I'm thinking not very far.....

Sunday, September 17, 2017


Monday is Gee's birthday. One would think after almost 7 years things would have gotten some ways it has...I no longer take his birthday off from work....I keep myself very busy so not to "think to much"....I don't go to the cemetery every week.... but I still miss him more than I could have ever imagined.

Monday, January 23, 2017


 Native people believe that red tailed hawks are messengers from the spirit world. That they come from loved ones....I always think of Gee when I see them.

Yesterday while taking Finn for a walk a big bird flew past us and landed on a tree branch...took my breath away... a red tailed hawk. He sat on the branch surveying the area.  He sat for a few seconds, took to flight, circled and flew off. I always feel better when I see these signs.....

 I never thought of these things before Gee died. For a long time after I would wake at night and see numbers...3:33, 5:55....until I said something to Lynda....she is "sensitive", has feelings, dreams of things....she told me that some believe they are signs from angels....feathers in your path....dragonflies and butterflies....Gee's cactus budding at strange times....

I really don't know what I believe, however I always feel a sense calm after I see one of these signs. As if Gee is still here with me. I miss him so very much.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016


Finn and I walk often with my friend Lynda and her dog Buddy. We have a few favorite places. Our newest place is just off the highway, 3.5 miles through the woods, one way. We can only walk this path on days off now that it is getting dark so early.

Today we decided to try. It was so warm, 50's, had rained for a couple of days we hoped the snow was manageable. Most of the way was clear, some ice, a bit of snow. Things had gone well. got out to the end, dogs got their treats and we were heading back to the car. All was going well until I found myself on the ground. Finn, being the good dog he is, turned around and came to me instead of running. I really don't know what happened, I felt my right foot slip, which must have hit my left foot, which put me on my ass. Lynda said it was the most graceful fall she had ever seen.....yeah that's me, graceful!

As they say, nothing was hurt but my pride...well I think I pulled a muscle in my arm, but otherwise things are fine.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016


I was just thinking that I could re post any of my 'missing Gee" posts, change some date and there ya go....nothing changes.... I miss him more everyday. I am in a melancholy phase right now...feeling very sorry for myself. Listening to old songs, they are like old friends, bringing old memories back to life......"Funny how time slips away".....Willie Nelson.....

I only had a limited time to be with you, but those times allowed me to see what a beautiful soul, loving and caring personality you had. You are TRULY missed! Gone to soon!   <a class="pintag searchlink" data-query="%23missingyou" data-type="hashtag" href="/search/?q=%23missingyou&rs=hashtag" rel="nofollow" title="#missingyou search Pinterest">#missingyou</a> <a class="pintag searchlink" data-query="%23prayersfororlando" data-type="hashtag" href="/search/?q=%23prayersfororlando&rs=hashtag" rel="nofollow" title="#prayersfororlando search Pinterest">#prayersfororlando</a>

Tuesday, November 1, 2016


I am so sorry the light turned red while you were looking at your phone and you almost ran into the back of my car.

 I am so sorry that when you laid on your horn and waved I returned the gesture in kind....however I do need to inform you, a peace sign uses two fingers, not one.

 I am so sorry that the angrier you got  the slower I drove. I guess you missed the turn when I gestured to you that I was turning right after you followed me for a half mile.

I am so sorry that you were so angry you put not only your safety at risk, by your behavior, but that of your passenger as well. You do not know me, you have no idea of what I am capable of.

You were lucky, I am a reasonable person who avoids confrontation. I would guess you have met my like before to carry on in such a way. For had you met someone who gets as angry as you when you make a mistake the outcome may well be different.

Sunday, August 21, 2016


Well, a new year is almost here. I am very apprehensive about the future. We have a whole new administration. Everyone, Deb, Sam, Murph and Kate all moved on to greener pastures. So there will be new bosses everywhere, Principal, VP, Dean of Students and Sp-Ed chair. That's a whole lot of new. Not to mention they needed to fill 6 special ed teachers, two maternity leaves and a paternity leave. The place wont look the same at all.

So had a meeting with the new boss. Lets just say not feeling very good about it. She isn't sure about the backpack program...wants us n the classrooms (we always did it on own time)....ok but this has come from the Superintendent....well we'll have to think about that..... How do you feel about Project Support.... can't do the emotional or physical aspects of the job anymore... My feelings are she sat there pretending to listen but has already made her mind up so nothing I said made a difference. Really, you come to a very poor district where almost half of our kids are free or reduced lunch and you don't know if you want to help feed them over the weekend, not a good sign at all. My feeling...I'm screwed....

Steve has left for school, two years in Ithaca. Rachel will stay here. She would have to be re-licensed to work in New York. They are getting closer to picking a date for the wedding....2018, because of Steve's financial aid can't be sooner. They have decided that it will be small, 50 people or so. Rachel has always wanted a fall wedding but that might have to be changed too. Steve will have no insurance come August '18 so they have been discussing a spring wedding...that to we will have to wait and see.


 My new boss has done as I predicted...I am back in Project much for caring for her staff and students....