December sucks..

Gee's anniversary is coming up. Kate will soon be out until February vacation, baby's due on the 15th, and I am really feeling my age. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I hate the thought of taking over for Kate when she is home with the baby. I reassure her all the time we will be fine. I'm really not so sure. My patience, with the girls especially is wearing very thin. They are so very tiring, so demanding of attention. The boys are different. They tend to just not want to go to class or to do what the teacher asks...easy fix most of the time....but the drama is more than I can take.

We had our first  "snow" day today. First it was a delay, icy roads, then the call came to cancel the day. It's one lousy day. Started great, did laundry, dusted the dining room, just moving along fine. Then I sat to have a cup of coffee. It was like a weight just landed on my shoulder, I was done. When will these episodes end?

I am always melancholy this time of year. Winter is here, Christmas is coming, and I'm missing Gee as much as ever. It's cold and rainy outside, so I sit listening to old songs, thinking of Gee. Just feeling sorry for myself.

I found this on pinterest.. I guess it says it better than I ever could. Soon it will be 4 years Gee has been gone.  It was only yesterday......

ANOTHER FRIEND GONE

One of my closest childhood friend has passed away. He was only 58 years old....Dickie was the guy that everyone liked. He was funny and kind and full of fun. He was always up for an adventure. We once skipped school, went to Boston, and just got on the subway. We had no clue where we were headed so he asks this guy where we were going. The guy just looked at us and shook his head and asked where in hell were we from,(out in the sticks) took pity on us and told us how to get back to where we parked the car.

His dad would go to the automobile auctions and buy burnt or damaged cars to repair. So we would get to use what ever car was being sold at the time...."good advertising" his dad would say. We rode in Corvettes, MG's, an Austin Healey and then he let us take the Pantera once. How cool is that to be 16 running the streets in a bright yellow sports car most men dream about...

We held each others secrets, we knew each others fears. I think our folks always thought we would one day get married, but he was my friend, never more than that.

We had lost touch over the years. I don't know why, just got busy with our lives I guess. The one thing I can say....All my best stories from when I was a kid start with " My friend Dickie and I....."

I will miss you my dear friend, I send my love and pray you find peace.

ROAD TRIP

We had the day off from school today, Columbus Day.. What to do?? Head north of coarse!

Went to York on the Maine coast. I love the ocean during the off season. Lynda and I walked on the beach, headed to the lighthouse, sat on the rocks and watched the water, felt the breeze, it was wonderful.

We then headed to Kittery to go shopping. We stopped at When Pigs Fly bakery....nirvana for bread lovers. There was bread everywhere, hot crusty bread, made with fruit and herbs,  wheat, rye, pumpernickel, bread everywhere! For me it was almost torture....must avoid to many carbs....diabetic don't ya know!

We stopped in at Yummies to pick up skybars for Bob, Lynda's husband. This place is chuck full of candy. All those penny candies we all loved as kids are here. Turkish taffy, hot balls, sweet tarts, the list goes on forever.

We ended the day at the trading post. Walking around being silly. All in all a great day off. Can't wait for the next one!

Lynda's Dream, Work and Finn

Lynda's Dream


My friend Lynda is what some people would say is a bit "different". What some people would call "sensitive". Certain things effect her, she has feelings about things and people. Seldom is she wrong about things she has feelings about.

So when she says she had a snip-it of a dream on Wednesday night/Thursday morning I was very interested. More so when she said her father was sitting at a table playing cards, laughing with Gee....whose hand made him say "ssshhhhiiittt" like he used to. Thing is, Thursday was Gee's birthday.


Work

Work sucks right now. GB hasn't been medicated all week. She has been loud, argumentative, and just plain mean! I had to leave the room yesterday, if not, I would have said something I would have been sorry about. She can be mean but, I can be vicious.

JD spends the day spiraling about calling mom and saying "I want to go home" and being an out right ass to anyone who says no to her. I can't see myself doing this all year, they are the most tiring students I have ever had, having them both is just exhausting.


Finn

Finny is still a handful. Got into the cabinet and ate anything/everything he could. Pasta, Zateran's and Rice a Roni. The next day he was so sick. Hasn't deterred him at all. Today caught him with a broccoli stalk he dug out of the trash.With all his faults I don't know what I'd do without him!

The Continuing Saga of Finn

Finn is a happy loving little dog. Loves to go for walks with my friend Lynda and her dog Honey. Rides well in the car. Housebroken, which is a step up from Fred in his old age. Is very busy most of the time.

BUT, when he is alone....

Finn is a trash picker,  a recycle hound, and a look for anything I shouldn't have dog. We had gotten used to our shoes getting tossed all over the house when we were gone...then came the stolen teddy bears out of Rachel's room. Her favorite of all time, Snowbear..... then came the bathroom emptied of all kinds of "ladies things" as Gee would say....pads and Tampax in various degrees of destruction all over the downstairs hall....the recycling was next....bottles and boxes shredded better that if we dropped them through a shredder....the white cabinet.....you wouldn't think a dog would want packages of instant oatmeal and hot chocolate....they were everywhere, the stains on the rug in the hall is proof ....and finally the trash....we had coffee grounds, and yucky stuff from one end of the kitchen to another....

So where as other people make sure they lock the doors, close windows if it's going to rain we have a few more things to do in order to leave the house.... Close the gates, keeping Finn out of the dining room and living room...close the doors of Rachel's and Clayton's rooms....lock shut the bathroom cabinet.....put the large box that holds the dog food in front of the white cabinet, it has no latch....put the trash and recycling into the downstairs bathroom, shutting the door tight, otherwise Finn can pull it open with the plastic bag holder....make sure the butter, pens, pencils, and anything else you don't want chewed, are not on the table. Grab anything you need to take with you....keys, bags, lunch and any thing else, give Finn a dentastick and head for door before Finn finishes eating, he will fight to go with you....

Many would say bring him back to the shelter, to much of a problem......well, if you saw that "smile" when you got home, or felt that warm little body leaning against your leg, or that tail wagging so fast it looks like it is going in circles, you might think like I do..........he's mine and he's here and I love a challenge!

Finn the Mouse Killer

Lets start at the beginning.....

Finn had just come to live with us. A bundle of energy. He came down to the basement while I was doing laundry. He was sniffing around exploring the new sights and smells of this new place. Up goes the ears and he runs off, only to come back a second later to drop a dead mouse at my feet.

Fast forward two weeks....

I went down to the washing machine and Finn stopped half way down the stairs. He must have seen something. The next thing I know he is dropping another dead mouse at my feet. Finn is a mouser! I guess it isn't really that surprising. After all his prey drive is so very high. He sees every squirrel, chipmunk and cat on a walk. Everything that moves makes those ears perk. If he wasn't on a leash he'd be off and running.

Finny, as I have come to call him, is such a wonderful dog. He wants nothing more that to be with people. He is so very friendly with everyone, tail wagging so fast you'd think it's coming off. Except older men in hats, doesn't like them at all!

 Everyday after I get home from school he very slowly maneuvers himself to sitting on my lap. First it's his head in my lap, then his chest, and finally his whole body, sighing like he has missed me so very much. I spoil him. Never have I allowed a dog on the furniture, he lays on the couch with Steve and Rachel. Just forget the beds....Finn sleeps with me every night, cuddles right up next to me, always touching me in some fashion.

I do wonder what his "story" is. The shelter people couldn't tell us anything about him, not where he came from or how he got to where he was. I can only say whoever gave this happy, wonderful guy up, THANK YOU!!

FINNEGAN

I know I said I wouldn't get another dog. Hurts to much when you loose them. I was done.

Well then Rachel starts surfing petfinder.com. Look at this one, so cute...no dogs. Oh he looks like Bossy Dog....no dogs. Isn't that the cutest face you've ever seen.....well yes it is. Lets stop by the shelter and check things out....

So enter Finnegan. Went right up to Steve...pat me pat me pat me....one down, he's hooked....next is Rachel, she was easy quick kiss and she was had. As for me, he smiles just like Fred. Do I need to spell it out ......

Finn came home with us. He is a bundle of energy. I forgot how Freddie was when we first got him all bouncy and always on the move. He loves to play fetch, walks well on a leash and is never more than 3 feet away from someone. He is a very happy guy who wants nothing more than for someone to pay attention to him.

We are working on sit, stay, come. Being part Aussie Shepard he is very smart...also very stubborn. The shelter lady was telling us that the breed can be challenging, after finding out that we have had a German Shepard she was no longer concerned. Boss also had a mind of his own.

He knows sit, when your holding his toys, or food but will just look at you if you have nothing in your hands.  Like Boss, he will be very persistent if ignored when he needs to go out, pawing at you saying hello I'm here , even at 4am.... another reminder of Boss. Every day we get to know each other better. Like many things our relationship is a work in progress.

So here we go again. Welcome Finny we already can't remember how life was without you.

Goodbye Fat Dog

I lost my constant companion today. Freddie had been failing very quickly this week. by Friday he was no longer eating or drinking. After a night of him pacing blindly from one corner to another, very distressed breathing amoung other issues. I knew I needed to help him.

It was a calm death. Rachel and Steve were home to say good bye and we sat with him as the vet gave him the sedative that would help ease his fears and help him to sleep. It was very quick and peaceful.

I will miss that happy little dog with the big smile.

Rachel's Graduating

Can't believe it's been 4 years already. Rachel is graduating from college in May. Not only is she graduating but has the highest GPA of all the students in the Social Work Program. She is a member of Phi Alpha Phi, a honors society that only invites the top 10% of the country's Social Work students. Will soon become Westfield's Social Workers Honors Society President, is a member of  QSA (Queer Straight Alliance ) on campus, Vice President to SWAG, (Social Workers Alliance Group), works in the Student Center, and has a full year practicum at an area Nursing Facility. She is one busy girl.

She has begun looking for a graduate program. She has applied to 5, Boston University, Boston Collage, Simmons, Smith and Westfield. She hoped to go full time but unless she is approved for advanced standing, which is a 2 year degree in 1 she will have to go part time and work.

UPDATE

Rachel has been accepted into the Advanced Standing program at Westfield! She is one of only 10 students that are accepted into the program each year. I can't put into words how truly amazed and proud I am of her.

Amazed because she does all of the stuff she does making it look so easy. She is always doing something, but gets it all done. I read something once, "if you want to get something done and done right, ask a busy person"

Proud, oh my goodness. She has come so very far. I truly can't express enough the gratitude I feel for her third grade teacher who first suggested we have her tested....something just isn't "right", her grades aren't what they should be. Well, if it wasn't for Ann Marie Ouellett we might have never realized her learning disability.  To Mrs McKenna, who showed her so many things to help compensate for her disability. She still writes her college papers using the format she learned in the 7th grade from her.


She's been accepted to Smith, but isn't really thinking about going there. It will take her 3 times as long, and cost at least three times as much than at Westfield. I want her to make her decision on the program offered, not just the money....but she's a smart kid and will pick the right place for her.









 

FREDDIE........A GOOD DOG

My constant companion is coming to the end of his troubled life. He has dogie Alzheimer's and it seems he often doesn't know where he is. Over the past few weeks he has deteriorated. Drinks alot of water but eats very little. I carry him  upstairs every night.  He walks into things, stands with his head in a corner not knowing how to get out of it. Last week I left a cabinet door opened and he climbed inside and had no idea how to get out and it was no fun trying to drag him out either.

Rachel doesn't want to see his decline. She just sees the little dog who helped heal her heart when we lost Boss. A happy little guy, we found in a shelter. He had been there for two years, was already 7, had had heart worm, and was Lyme positive....we'll take him. The shelter worker cried, Freddie found a family.

 What they didn't tell us....he was a thief, nothing on the table or counter was safe not even butter, loved to chase cars, and had separation anxiety, peeing in the house every time we left him alone. He had a sweet and loving temperament. Loving all he met, even the veterinarian, unless she tried to look in his mouth.

He sleeps more and more of late. He paces at night, Rachel calls it sun downing, sometimes for hours on end. He is still interested in cookies, puts his head in my hand for a gentle rub on  his ears and every once in a while he looks at me with those soft brown eyes letting me know he's still my Freddie.

I dread his passing, he was my constant companion all during Gee's final stages. He was never more than three feet away always watching over me. He is a good dog that will be sorely missed, he came to us when we needed him the most. We will meet again if not in this life then the next.