The simplest things can bring memories. Today I was ironing, I hate ironing, and I was flooded with memories.
When Gee was in the army, before they had perminate press uniforms, he would come home at lunch every day and change his uniform, couldn't yell at troops if you looked as bad as they did. His uniforms were starched so much he would have to put his two hands in and spread them apart, making this ripping noise, before he could get into them . His boots, toes and heels, were so shining you could see yourself in them. He was the First Sargent and everyone who saw him new it....
And then there was the time I came home from work to the sight of all my pajama's laying on the deck railing drying. When I asked Gee why, he told me it was because the last time he did laundry I yelled at him for putting my pajamas in the dryer.....At first I didn't understand then it hit me....he had washed and dryed my brand new linen pants. They not only shrunk but were in tatters....to him they were pajama pants....
or the time I came in the door, Rachel and Steve behind me. We see Gee carrying a pot of steaming water up the stairs telling me the tub is stopped up. He had been plunging and pouring water and liquid plummer for the past few hours. I went in and he's plunging and plunging and nothing was happening. He's telling me to go call Micah, the plummer.....no I don't think we need him.....I reach over and lift the handle and unstop the tub.....you can fill in the rest.....
Maybe I don't hate ironing as much as I thought
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Freddie
My constant companion has been ill. I was very worried about him, didn't meet me at the door after work on Wednesday. He's such a happy little dog, tail wags constantly with smiling eyes that adore me.
,
After having to euthanize Boss at 13 after falling down the stairs I was not having another dog. He was such a beautiful animal, smart, loyal, protective and my first real dog....my mother didn't like dogs, well she liked other peoples dogs. Before Gee left for Korea we had a Silky Terrier for a short time. However, my fathers cat attacked the little guy and Gee brought him to Texas to Yvette. Boss was special and I loved him dearly.
It took about two months before Rachel started working towards another dog. She started in on me first, can we get another dog....no.....please....its up to Daddy.....it took her a while about a week and we began looking for a new dog. We visited many shelters in the area, our local shelter was having an open house, so we went. There he was sitting in his kennel, looking away from all the people. It was almost like he was saying I'm to old they wont want me....Then he turned and looked at me and I was lost. Gee wanted the rotti/pit mix but he was going to be bigger than Boss who was 120 pounds, to big. Here is where they say he was 7 and had been in a shelter for 2 years,has had heart worm,is Lyme positive....! I didn't care I wanted him.....so here we are 2 years plus later.
He has been vomiting, drinking water, and vomiting again. I called the vet and she wanted to do blood work, x-rays all that kind of stuff, lets rule out an obstruction, and how much will that cost....drum roll.....about $800....ah gee, is there something we can do first? Well if it's just constipation you could give him 2T of pumpkin, it helps "grease things along"....lets try that first and if it doesn't help I'll call tomorrow. Well without all the gory details, it worked...I found evidence all over the kitchen early this morning about 4am when I was awaken by a waifing oder of dead dog.....Freddie hiding in his bed, looking so pitiful because he messed up the kitchen. It's ok old dog...patting him while his tail wags so much you'd think it would wag right off.
I have my bouncy, dumb, tail wagging fool back..... following me everywhere I go. His treatment cost.....drum roll......$1.20... I like my Vet, but sometimes, all it takes something to just "grease things along"
,
After having to euthanize Boss at 13 after falling down the stairs I was not having another dog. He was such a beautiful animal, smart, loyal, protective and my first real dog....my mother didn't like dogs, well she liked other peoples dogs. Before Gee left for Korea we had a Silky Terrier for a short time. However, my fathers cat attacked the little guy and Gee brought him to Texas to Yvette. Boss was special and I loved him dearly.
It took about two months before Rachel started working towards another dog. She started in on me first, can we get another dog....no.....please....its up to Daddy.....it took her a while about a week and we began looking for a new dog. We visited many shelters in the area, our local shelter was having an open house, so we went. There he was sitting in his kennel, looking away from all the people. It was almost like he was saying I'm to old they wont want me....Then he turned and looked at me and I was lost. Gee wanted the rotti/pit mix but he was going to be bigger than Boss who was 120 pounds, to big. Here is where they say he was 7 and had been in a shelter for 2 years,has had heart worm,is Lyme positive....! I didn't care I wanted him.....so here we are 2 years plus later.
He has been vomiting, drinking water, and vomiting again. I called the vet and she wanted to do blood work, x-rays all that kind of stuff, lets rule out an obstruction, and how much will that cost....drum roll.....about $800....ah gee, is there something we can do first? Well if it's just constipation you could give him 2T of pumpkin, it helps "grease things along"....lets try that first and if it doesn't help I'll call tomorrow. Well without all the gory details, it worked...I found evidence all over the kitchen early this morning about 4am when I was awaken by a waifing oder of dead dog.....Freddie hiding in his bed, looking so pitiful because he messed up the kitchen. It's ok old dog...patting him while his tail wags so much you'd think it would wag right off.
I have my bouncy, dumb, tail wagging fool back..... following me everywhere I go. His treatment cost.....drum roll......$1.20... I like my Vet, but sometimes, all it takes something to just "grease things along"
Monday, February 7, 2011
I'll See You in My Dreams
I have been dreaming of Gee, very pleasant dreams. They have all been very similar, we are just walking together on a road, neither of us talking, just feeling very comfortable. Very much like our lives together. Many would say we were boring, I guess we were. Gee would watch TV and I would read. Sometimes we wouldn't say 10 words to each other all evening.We enjoyed each others company.
Dreams can bring fear or comfort. I haven't slept as good for months. I wake up with a sense of calm that I haven't felt in a very long time, if ever. I miss him terribly, but on these mornings that I have dreamt of him I don't have the same emptiness in my heart, for a while.
During the Concert for George many years ago, Joe Brown sang a song titled "I'll See You in MY Dreams" Will I see Gee in my dreams, I do hope I do. There we can walk together, not talking, just enjoying each others company once again.
I'll see you in my dreams
And I'll hold you in my dreams
Someone took you right out of my arms
Still I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams
Oh, someone took you right out of my arms
Still I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams
Joe Brown
Dreams can bring fear or comfort. I haven't slept as good for months. I wake up with a sense of calm that I haven't felt in a very long time, if ever. I miss him terribly, but on these mornings that I have dreamt of him I don't have the same emptiness in my heart, for a while.
During the Concert for George many years ago, Joe Brown sang a song titled "I'll See You in MY Dreams" Will I see Gee in my dreams, I do hope I do. There we can walk together, not talking, just enjoying each others company once again.
I'll see you in my dreams
And I'll hold you in my dreams
Someone took you right out of my arms
Still I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams
Oh, someone took you right out of my arms
Still I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams
Joe Brown
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Our Anniversary
February 18th, our wedding anniversary.....28 years married, 35 years together or would have been...and I would jump at the chance to do it all again. It passed by so quickly, hardly more than a blink of an eye. Some would think we don't have much to show for it. An old house that needs work from top to bottom and a few bucks in the bank. I drive a new to me car, work for peanuts in the school system, hope the snow blower lasts the winter, not to mention the oil....
I also have two wonderful children and 34 years of wonderful memories. He was a simple man with simple pleasures. His family, dominoes, the blues, and pinochle. For years his favorite thing was going to BJ's to play cards, have a few drinks and some good food, what more could a simple man ask for. Anyone who knew him heard that laugh the memory of which brings tears to my eyes, so loud, so contagious, and so genuine. We once had someone move his car at the drive in because he was so loud at a Mel Brooks movie....beans anyone....
He's been gone now 2 months, I am coping. Most days aren't to bad I am busy at work, not much time to think about myself. The nights are a challenge. Laureen and David try to make sure I eat regular by inviting me to dinner a couple times a week. I haven't gotten used to the quiet. I have the radio or the television on even when I read, which I haven't done much of lately...bifocals leave much to be desired, might get just some reading glasses...have to talk to Joel about that....or on the computer. I have touched base so to speak with an old friend through blogging that was quite pleasant, more memories to contemplate.
Rachel doesn't come home as much now, busy with school and friends, as it should be. She is going to make a difference in the world, even if it is only in her little corner of it. A kinder soul I have never met. Clayton is busy with his own family. He has grown into a fine young man and a great dad, so much like his father. Quick to laugh and very laid back. He and Katie are excellent parents, Jaxon is the center of their world, they are enjoying every minute they have with him.
After my grandfather died my grandmother said to me, she was supposed to go first, she was the oldest. Well not that I thought I would go first, however, I never thought for a minute Gee would leave me this soon. He was older but also the healthiest of anyone I knew, still calling basketball at 72. Until he was diagnosed with cancer the second time, I thought surly he would live at least as long as his father, 93, well we all know that didn't happen.
Where do I go from here? That's any ones guess.
I also have two wonderful children and 34 years of wonderful memories. He was a simple man with simple pleasures. His family, dominoes, the blues, and pinochle. For years his favorite thing was going to BJ's to play cards, have a few drinks and some good food, what more could a simple man ask for. Anyone who knew him heard that laugh the memory of which brings tears to my eyes, so loud, so contagious, and so genuine. We once had someone move his car at the drive in because he was so loud at a Mel Brooks movie....beans anyone....
He's been gone now 2 months, I am coping. Most days aren't to bad I am busy at work, not much time to think about myself. The nights are a challenge. Laureen and David try to make sure I eat regular by inviting me to dinner a couple times a week. I haven't gotten used to the quiet. I have the radio or the television on even when I read, which I haven't done much of lately...bifocals leave much to be desired, might get just some reading glasses...have to talk to Joel about that....or on the computer. I have touched base so to speak with an old friend through blogging that was quite pleasant, more memories to contemplate.
Rachel doesn't come home as much now, busy with school and friends, as it should be. She is going to make a difference in the world, even if it is only in her little corner of it. A kinder soul I have never met. Clayton is busy with his own family. He has grown into a fine young man and a great dad, so much like his father. Quick to laugh and very laid back. He and Katie are excellent parents, Jaxon is the center of their world, they are enjoying every minute they have with him.
After my grandfather died my grandmother said to me, she was supposed to go first, she was the oldest. Well not that I thought I would go first, however, I never thought for a minute Gee would leave me this soon. He was older but also the healthiest of anyone I knew, still calling basketball at 72. Until he was diagnosed with cancer the second time, I thought surly he would live at least as long as his father, 93, well we all know that didn't happen.
Where do I go from here? That's any ones guess.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Report Cards
The Q2 report cards came out today. One of my kids, I wrote about him earlier, got 4 b's,1 c and a d+ (69). I am so proud of him, he worked so hard to get here. He has asked for a recommendation to the Tech. school, I told him I will gladly write him one.
These are the days that let me know I really do make a difference in these kids lives. To see the pride in his face makes all the rest worth it!!
These are the days that let me know I really do make a difference in these kids lives. To see the pride in his face makes all the rest worth it!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
feeling sorry for myself
I don't know if its because Rachel went back to school today or not, but this evening has been one long cry....I could barely keep things together to drive home. The songs on the radio were all "his" songs, songs he sang, songs he danced to.......
Just when I think things are getting better, I think I'm beginning to cope something like tonight happens. What triggered it I have no idea. All I know is I want him here with me, to feel his hand in mine, hear him laugh, to smell his cologne. All lost to me now, only the memories remain.
Just when I think things are getting better, I think I'm beginning to cope something like tonight happens. What triggered it I have no idea. All I know is I want him here with me, to feel his hand in mine, hear him laugh, to smell his cologne. All lost to me now, only the memories remain.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Changes and Disruption
Just when I find a teacher that I work very comfortable with the "office" decides to move things around and dissolves the program....there is no longer Project Support at GMS. We all still have jobs but things are getting "relined."
The new teacher, T, and I clicked right off, seemed like we had worked together for years. She's worked with "behavior" kids forever. Being a true smart ass, the kids like her, she understands them, doesn't judge to harshly and makes them responsible for their actions.
On Monday it was announced she was moving to the 7th grade floor, teaching her 2 math classes, and doing 2 inclusion classes on the 7th grade floor....in other words she is now the inclusion teacher on the floor. Great way to start the week, happy Monday!!!
My schedule is up in the air right now. The only thing that will stay the same is one of the math classes I was covering. With 10 kids, all on IEP's there needs to be two of us in the room, other than that who knows.
We all know this is coming about because the schools are being evaluated on how the system itself, district wide, is servicing the special ed kids.Are the schools in compliance with the kids IEP's, are they receiving the services they are entitled to.
I am sure there are changes that need to take place system wide I just don't handle change and disruption very well....I am having some anxiety issues because of the upheaval going on. Gee would say there is nothing I can do about it so don't worry about it....whats going to happen is going to happen, no changing it....he was right then and he'd be right now. Like everything else I guess I will just have to wait and see.
The new teacher, T, and I clicked right off, seemed like we had worked together for years. She's worked with "behavior" kids forever. Being a true smart ass, the kids like her, she understands them, doesn't judge to harshly and makes them responsible for their actions.
On Monday it was announced she was moving to the 7th grade floor, teaching her 2 math classes, and doing 2 inclusion classes on the 7th grade floor....in other words she is now the inclusion teacher on the floor. Great way to start the week, happy Monday!!!
My schedule is up in the air right now. The only thing that will stay the same is one of the math classes I was covering. With 10 kids, all on IEP's there needs to be two of us in the room, other than that who knows.
We all know this is coming about because the schools are being evaluated on how the system itself, district wide, is servicing the special ed kids.Are the schools in compliance with the kids IEP's, are they receiving the services they are entitled to.
I am sure there are changes that need to take place system wide I just don't handle change and disruption very well....I am having some anxiety issues because of the upheaval going on. Gee would say there is nothing I can do about it so don't worry about it....whats going to happen is going to happen, no changing it....he was right then and he'd be right now. Like everything else I guess I will just have to wait and see.
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