For the 4th time in less than 3 years I have a teacher leaving. This one has never been happy about coming to my room. She's an inclusion teacher, who has been out so much that this room was her last chance....well she found a new job in Fitchburg. She isn't coming back after Thanksgiving. She isn't coming in today either....migraine again. I thought she would make it through her last full week but I was wrong.
I can't wait for the break. I am tired. The boys are just exhausting. A and F both need so much one to one attention you feel you are getting pulled back and forth all day. F seldom comes in on a Monday, but he'll be here today because I'll be alone, and this was A's weekend to be with Dad....never ends well. If he goes he wont have been on meds all weekend (Dad doesn't think they are necessary) or he didn't show. Either way today will be awful. Top it off with a visit from the May Institute, my day will be complete! Dan is always full of suggestions for A and they always include more paperwork for me to keep track of.....
As I thought F was at school today, in his normal, I'm bored, I'm tired, I want to go home....so I told him to just go....just make sure you sign out in the front office..........
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Never Listen to Country Music When You're Sad
Coffee black, cigarettes,
start this day, like all the rest,
First thing every morning that I do,
is start missing you
Some broken hearts never mend,
some memories never end,
some tears will never dry,
my love for you will never die
Should never listen to old country songs when you are sad..........
I don't know why, but tonight has been one of those feeling sorry for myself nights. What brings them on I really don't know. Maybe it was the news that one of the teachers is getting married ( number 4) on Friday. Just made the announcement, out of the blue.
It's not that I want to get married again, or even be in a relationship, I don't, it's just I miss being in one with Gee. It is very hard to explain. The things I miss the most are the small things you wouldn't think you'd miss. I miss hearing him breath at night, the feeling of him in the bed next to me, the smell of his cologne in my car after he's used it. All those things that no one ever thinks of until they are gone.
You would think after almost a year things would have some feeling of normalcy. Well they don't. Every day is a struggle just to get out of bed. The kids, the animals they are the only things that keep me going.
I'm sure a lot of these feelings are all connected with the holidays coming. Rachel nagged me into decorating the house for Halloween. Had me put out the few things we have for Thanksgiving. I told her to accept the invitation to dinner at Steve's, but she didn't she is dragging me to BJ's. Not looking forward to Christmas. I haven't asked but I assume Clayton and Katie will be heading to Tennessee. I really miss Jack when they go but I wont be any kind of fun this year anyway so it really doesn't matter.
Maybe that's what it is nothing really matters to me right now.
start this day, like all the rest,
First thing every morning that I do,
is start missing you
Some broken hearts never mend,
some memories never end,
some tears will never dry,
my love for you will never die
Should never listen to old country songs when you are sad..........
I don't know why, but tonight has been one of those feeling sorry for myself nights. What brings them on I really don't know. Maybe it was the news that one of the teachers is getting married ( number 4) on Friday. Just made the announcement, out of the blue.
It's not that I want to get married again, or even be in a relationship, I don't, it's just I miss being in one with Gee. It is very hard to explain. The things I miss the most are the small things you wouldn't think you'd miss. I miss hearing him breath at night, the feeling of him in the bed next to me, the smell of his cologne in my car after he's used it. All those things that no one ever thinks of until they are gone.
You would think after almost a year things would have some feeling of normalcy. Well they don't. Every day is a struggle just to get out of bed. The kids, the animals they are the only things that keep me going.
I'm sure a lot of these feelings are all connected with the holidays coming. Rachel nagged me into decorating the house for Halloween. Had me put out the few things we have for Thanksgiving. I told her to accept the invitation to dinner at Steve's, but she didn't she is dragging me to BJ's. Not looking forward to Christmas. I haven't asked but I assume Clayton and Katie will be heading to Tennessee. I really miss Jack when they go but I wont be any kind of fun this year anyway so it really doesn't matter.
Maybe that's what it is nothing really matters to me right now.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Mouse Whisperer
Rachel truly is the mouse whisperer. We had an incident this weekend with a mouse in the house. I am absolutely terrified of rodents. Really, I have sweaty palms, weak knees, the whole nine yards. Gee would laugh at me...saying crap like it makes no sense....yeah that's why it's called an irrational fear!!!!
First some background. About three years ago,this same time of year, I heard something in the hall. When I went to see what it was the cat was rolling on the carpet. I said something like hi kitty and out of the corner of my eye I saw something move, a chipmunk was sitting on the hall table cleaning his whiskers...I screamed, the chipmunk jumped off the table, cat chasing it down. I'm yelling at Gee get it, get it.....anyway I called my friend Laureen what do I do....her husband David tells me open the doors, make a racket by beating on some pans and it should run out....ok I open the doors and start beating the crap out of a metal bowl, Gee starts yelling he's not heating the outside and shuts the doors, I start yelling If you'd just help me get the little bastard out we could shut the doors... then it runs from the dining room almost over Gee's feet. So we open the doors and start beating them again making a hell of a racket, out the door goes the chipmunk.
So fast forward to late Thursday. Rachel wakes me up about 1 am, the cellar door is open and the cat was chasing something. I get up put the hall light on and there they go the cat running after a mouse. Shit, ok well what now.....we left the hall light on, shut the bedroom doors and hoped the cat got the mouse. The cat spent the day looking at the hall clock. Next day he's watching the radiator in the kitchen. I'm thinking the little bugger got away, until this afternoon. Fred is in the kitchen trying to dig his way under the hutch in the kitchen....what is wrong with you dopey dog and then I see it running back and forth along that wall in the kitchen!! So now I'm standing on a chair beating around the hutch with a broom and off he runs behind the dog cage into the living room under the couch. So we put Fred out and open the door, I am beating this metal bowl to death with a wooden spoon and Rachel is watching me not quite laughing but is very amused at this point, because it isn't working. I go back in the kitchen and she says I see him very quietly. He's smelling the fresh air, every time he comes out a bit further and runs back but after about 30 minutes the little bugger makes a run for the door and out he goes!!! She shuts the door and laughs at me.... What would I have done if she hadn't been home? I have no idea. Thankfully I don't have to figure that out!
First some background. About three years ago,this same time of year, I heard something in the hall. When I went to see what it was the cat was rolling on the carpet. I said something like hi kitty and out of the corner of my eye I saw something move, a chipmunk was sitting on the hall table cleaning his whiskers...I screamed, the chipmunk jumped off the table, cat chasing it down. I'm yelling at Gee get it, get it.....anyway I called my friend Laureen what do I do....her husband David tells me open the doors, make a racket by beating on some pans and it should run out....ok I open the doors and start beating the crap out of a metal bowl, Gee starts yelling he's not heating the outside and shuts the doors, I start yelling If you'd just help me get the little bastard out we could shut the doors... then it runs from the dining room almost over Gee's feet. So we open the doors and start beating them again making a hell of a racket, out the door goes the chipmunk.
So fast forward to late Thursday. Rachel wakes me up about 1 am, the cellar door is open and the cat was chasing something. I get up put the hall light on and there they go the cat running after a mouse. Shit, ok well what now.....we left the hall light on, shut the bedroom doors and hoped the cat got the mouse. The cat spent the day looking at the hall clock. Next day he's watching the radiator in the kitchen. I'm thinking the little bugger got away, until this afternoon. Fred is in the kitchen trying to dig his way under the hutch in the kitchen....what is wrong with you dopey dog and then I see it running back and forth along that wall in the kitchen!! So now I'm standing on a chair beating around the hutch with a broom and off he runs behind the dog cage into the living room under the couch. So we put Fred out and open the door, I am beating this metal bowl to death with a wooden spoon and Rachel is watching me not quite laughing but is very amused at this point, because it isn't working. I go back in the kitchen and she says I see him very quietly. He's smelling the fresh air, every time he comes out a bit further and runs back but after about 30 minutes the little bugger makes a run for the door and out he goes!!! She shuts the door and laughs at me.... What would I have done if she hadn't been home? I have no idea. Thankfully I don't have to figure that out!
One very long week finally over. We have had the absolute day from hell. A was just uncontrollable. Literally banging his head against the wall. Why one might ask....he tells me he likes doing it. He found out that wouldn't get him suspended so he took a marker and drew on the rug. Now he's happy, 3 days at home, destruction of school property.
F's and his sister come running down the 7th grade hall way, B pushes F into the wall yelling "give me the money." Guess F took money from his Mom and she needed it back. After tackling F, B got the money....it's a family thing says the Dean of Students....well maybe but it happened in front of a hallway full of other kids.
The 8th grade had the yearly "talk" with the principle....keep your hands to yourself, none of the usual nonsense, including public displays of affection, corn dogging, for those uninformed that's a knee to the butt, bottlecaping, poking one in the throat, or nipple twists, one of the boys favorites, and the newest nasty, "it's just something we do"thing they have come up with...licking each other. Yup you read correctly they lick each other. This years 8th grade is sooo tiring. They are loud, rude and just down right nasty to each other, never mind staff. These are the worse behaved kids we have seen in alot of years. On of the 7th grade teachers told us last year, "Just wait, these guys are the worse..." she was right.
F's and his sister come running down the 7th grade hall way, B pushes F into the wall yelling "give me the money." Guess F took money from his Mom and she needed it back. After tackling F, B got the money....it's a family thing says the Dean of Students....well maybe but it happened in front of a hallway full of other kids.
The 8th grade had the yearly "talk" with the principle....keep your hands to yourself, none of the usual nonsense, including public displays of affection, corn dogging, for those uninformed that's a knee to the butt, bottlecaping, poking one in the throat, or nipple twists, one of the boys favorites, and the newest nasty, "it's just something we do"thing they have come up with...licking each other. Yup you read correctly they lick each other. This years 8th grade is sooo tiring. They are loud, rude and just down right nasty to each other, never mind staff. These are the worse behaved kids we have seen in alot of years. On of the 7th grade teachers told us last year, "Just wait, these guys are the worse..." she was right.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Snow Snow and more Snow
It's only October and we have gotten 24" of snow. If that isn't bad enough my snow blower wouldn't start!! With the help of one of the neighbors I got it all cleaned up. Well most of it anyway. I still have some on the deck to get rid of, but the dog can get out and most of the weight is off. First chance I get I'm off to the Toro store for a new snow blower. I can feel my muscles already, took two aleve and now I just hope I can get up in the morning!!
Monday
Well my credit card balance is a bit heavier....just bought a new snow blower. What a beast, Rachel says the other snow blowers wont laugh at us anymore. The one I picked turns on its own, no muscling needed, so Rachel should be able to run it if necessary. One of the neighbors told me to go to this place, the service everything they sell, pick up and delivery free,.. he got his there and wasn't anymore expensive than where I looked...now I just hope I don't need it!
Rachel has been home since Sunday, Westfield has had no power. She got the all call yesterday, classes resume on Wednesday morning. She was really happy about being home, she got to hand out candy last night, just loves Halloween. Jack was so cute....Superman to the rescue!!
My schedule is changing at work again. This time it is because of one of my students can't seem to behave in his classes. He will spend most of his day in my room until he can. He will be "so plesant" when he finds out this morning when he gets back from being suspended, for the 3rd time this year....yes it is only November 1st. Otherwise nothing changes at the Middle School.
Monday
Well my credit card balance is a bit heavier....just bought a new snow blower. What a beast, Rachel says the other snow blowers wont laugh at us anymore. The one I picked turns on its own, no muscling needed, so Rachel should be able to run it if necessary. One of the neighbors told me to go to this place, the service everything they sell, pick up and delivery free,.. he got his there and wasn't anymore expensive than where I looked...now I just hope I don't need it!
Rachel has been home since Sunday, Westfield has had no power. She got the all call yesterday, classes resume on Wednesday morning. She was really happy about being home, she got to hand out candy last night, just loves Halloween. Jack was so cute....Superman to the rescue!!
My schedule is changing at work again. This time it is because of one of my students can't seem to behave in his classes. He will spend most of his day in my room until he can. He will be "so plesant" when he finds out this morning when he gets back from being suspended, for the 3rd time this year....yes it is only November 1st. Otherwise nothing changes at the Middle School.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
George and Edna
I spent the afternoon yesterday sitting with my friend Laureen's mom, Edna. George had a doctors appointment and Edna can't be left alone anymore, she has Alzheimer's. I knew from the time I walked into the house she no longer remembers me. This woman who was so very funny, insightful and a stand in grandma for my children after my mother died is slipping away. She was confused. Wondered why I was there and where was George. She played with her hair and smoothed out her clothes. Then I asked her where she met George....
She wasn't sure, but knew it was a long time ago. She also told me about when she was younger she would come home from school, put her bathing suit on and walk down the street to the ocean and swim with her brother and sister. How she went to high school at Brainbridge Academy. How her mother would cook for the old people in the neighborhood. How she used to tap dance on the stage and sing with her brother on the radio....
George came home, carrying his oxygen tank. His doctor increased his oxygen to 2.5. About two years now he had part of his lung removed. At almost 90 he still cares for Edna, tells his children he does not want to be separated from her, but is showing signs of becoming over whelmed.
I am saddened because these wonderful people, who only want to spend the last of their lives together are being robbed because of a horrific disease has invaded her mind and taken the joy she once had in life and is taking her away from him one little piece at a time.
I so wish I had spent more time listening to the stories my parents told, my grandparents and George and Edna. Why didn't I listen more, when they all had the time to tell me the stories of their lives? My parents and grandparents are gone, George and Edna will soon follow. another piece of the past lost to us forever.
She wasn't sure, but knew it was a long time ago. She also told me about when she was younger she would come home from school, put her bathing suit on and walk down the street to the ocean and swim with her brother and sister. How she went to high school at Brainbridge Academy. How her mother would cook for the old people in the neighborhood. How she used to tap dance on the stage and sing with her brother on the radio....
George came home, carrying his oxygen tank. His doctor increased his oxygen to 2.5. About two years now he had part of his lung removed. At almost 90 he still cares for Edna, tells his children he does not want to be separated from her, but is showing signs of becoming over whelmed.
I am saddened because these wonderful people, who only want to spend the last of their lives together are being robbed because of a horrific disease has invaded her mind and taken the joy she once had in life and is taking her away from him one little piece at a time.
I so wish I had spent more time listening to the stories my parents told, my grandparents and George and Edna. Why didn't I listen more, when they all had the time to tell me the stories of their lives? My parents and grandparents are gone, George and Edna will soon follow. another piece of the past lost to us forever.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Mondays
I have a real dislike for Mondays. The kids come back from the weekend all crabby and mouthy. It's only been two days. I find myself saying things like.... I don't care how you talk at home, around here you can't call each other B****, or anything else like it. I really can't believe I spend my days saying things like that. Today I had to tell a kid to go spit out that pencil eraser ( metal top and all). It's a choking hazard. These are 8th grade regular ed kids. Not my kids, who it wouldn't surprise me to say these kinds of things.
I spent more than 30 minutes today cleaning the copy machine of stuck paper. After that I tried again same thing happens. I went to the office, still covered in black ink and the secretary proceeds to tell me all I need to do is pull the paper out. After asking her what in the hell do you think I've been doing for the past half hour...well that was in my head....what I said out loud was I put an out of order sign on it and I have to go back to class....
My student A decides he isn't going to do anything but walk in circles around desks. The teacher tells me to do some "planned ignoring", this is part of his behavior plan, ok I know I don't have a PHD like the guy who wrote his behavior plan....but this is stupid. I'm supposed to ignore his behavior, let him be a distraction for the others in the classroom. How am I going to tell one of them that they can't do the same behaviors A does. Why is it ok for him but not them....guess that didn't come to mind as he was writing the plan.
Tomorrow is a half day.....all the middle school kids will be heading to all the fast food joints....look out downtown!!!
I spent more than 30 minutes today cleaning the copy machine of stuck paper. After that I tried again same thing happens. I went to the office, still covered in black ink and the secretary proceeds to tell me all I need to do is pull the paper out. After asking her what in the hell do you think I've been doing for the past half hour...well that was in my head....what I said out loud was I put an out of order sign on it and I have to go back to class....
My student A decides he isn't going to do anything but walk in circles around desks. The teacher tells me to do some "planned ignoring", this is part of his behavior plan, ok I know I don't have a PHD like the guy who wrote his behavior plan....but this is stupid. I'm supposed to ignore his behavior, let him be a distraction for the others in the classroom. How am I going to tell one of them that they can't do the same behaviors A does. Why is it ok for him but not them....guess that didn't come to mind as he was writing the plan.
Tomorrow is a half day.....all the middle school kids will be heading to all the fast food joints....look out downtown!!!
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