Rachel, 21 already???

My baby girl will be 21 soon......... I still see the little girl with the wild curly hair lying on the floor with her head on Boss's chest watching Mr Rogers, sharing her snack of goldfish with him, payment I suppose for lying quietly while she wiggled into a comfortable position. Her protector and companion, Boss was never more than a few feet away from her.

 She has grown into an amazing young woman. She has a level of confidence I never had at her age, if ever. She seems to know where her place is in life, what she has been put on this earth to do. Her strong sense of what is right and what is wrong has very little grey area. She will make a wonderful advocate for the sick and elderly.

Gee knew she was going to be a girl from the start. She could melt his heart with a look and a smile. As he became more and more fragile she became more and more protective of him. Always making sure he took his meds on time going to doctors appointments with him when I couldn't. He always called her the bossy one to all the nurses, so proud he was of her.

She heads back to school next week. It will be very quiet here once again. Just me, Freddie and Buster waiting for that Friday afternoon when she come bursting in with books and laundry and stories of what happened in her life since she left us, my little girl with curly hair, a young woman to the rest of the world.

Like most people I didn't win the 300+million powerball last night. It really doesn't matter to me, but the people I had planned to share it with will be disappointed. Rachel wont be getting that Volkswagen beetle she has always wanted, no new tuba for Steve, Clayton and Katie wont get their loans for school paid in full, and my brothers and sisters, I am so sorry, I can't help you retire early. Jack wont have a trust fund to pay his college costs. Like the rest of us he will probably have to have student loans. The Middle School will have to put up with mean old Mrs. G for another year. 

What else could someone possibly do with that kind of money. Help some kids to college with a scholarship, buy some badly needed band uniforms, bathrooms on the football field might be nice, but what else?

I like my neighborhood, the people so kind to me since Gee died. I like my house, needs some updating and some basic stuff, paint and paper but why would I move just because of money? Could I use a few more bucks every month, sure doesn't everyone. That kind of money, not really. 

Money was something Gee and I never fought over....why fight over something you didn't have! We had enough. All the money in the world can't buy me what I want, Gee to be here. So like I said I'm only sorry that I can't help those I had planned to help.