Monday, November 28, 2011

Monday, New Week, No Teacher

It is always hard for the kids I work with to come in on a Monday.  it is also the first day back after Thanksgiving break. Top it off, they wont have a teacher until next week. We have had a hard morning.

A came in this morning in a fairly good mood, first hour was good. Then F comes in. He's bored, hates school, wants to go name it he yells it today. He is so tiring. Finally I said do you really think you're the only one who wanted to stay you think for a moment that I wanted to come today knowing what the day was going to be like....he looks at me with this "really" look. You don't like it here?

Dan was in today for a short time, he is from the May Institute. He has been observing A making some recomendations for behavior plans. He hasn't seen the two kids in the same room together as of yet. He will see them on Wednesday, can't wait for that to happen, 

The new teacher starts Monday next week. She was "bumped" from one of the lower grades during the last round of cutbacks. Everyone keeps telling me how great she is, how experienced she is.....I'll believe it when I see it. Until then the Dean of Students wanted to know if I wanted her to get a sub. So I get to do all the work and not get paid for it......aaahhhh no.....I'll manage thanks, not the first time at the dance so they say.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


Another major holiday passes. I can't say it was fun, but it wasn't to bad. It was good to see the boys, I should say men, Chris and Henry are pushing 40, with Matt and Patrick not to far behind.

What was missing for me, getting Gee's plate. He never got his own food. I always got his food or put it on the table before I called him to come eat. I never thought much of it. Today I realized there was no one for me to get food for. Katie got Jacks, BJ got Saul's. What a stupid thing to feel sad about.

Rachel is at Steve's, going out on Black Friday with his folks. I wonder where they are heading. She never talks with me of their future. She keeps those thing to herself. She did say Steve has said they should get an apartment together after the finish school. I wanted to say just live here, save some money, but I didn't. I don't know what I would do if/when she moves out.

My friend Lynda called today. Wanted to make sure I was ok. Knowing that today was going to be rough. Saying she knows the next weeks wont be easy for me.I have to say I have some wonderful friends. What I would do without  her and Laureen. Both of them try to keep me busy, less time to feel sorry for myself.

I can't say I look forward to the rest of this "Holiday Season" I have asked Ruth and Dorothy to come for dinner. I should say I let Rachel push me into asking them, "because we always do"I would be ok with sitting here alone with Fred and Buster.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Another Friend Gone

My friend George has passed away, 88 years old, 5 children, Navy veteran. Stand in Grandfather for my kids. Just a really good guy.

 I went to visit him at 3pm Thursday. He was sleeping peacefully so I did not wake him. Talked briefly to his nurse on how his day had gone, all was well. He never woke up. His daughter, my very good friend Laureen called me at 5, Dad died, she said. If nothing else I hope she and her family find comfort in the knowledge he was relaxed and comfortable.

I wonder if knowing his beloved Edna was safe from harm upstairs in the Memory ward, she has Alzheimer's, was enough to let go and pass from this life.

Edna and George had just had their 65th wedding anniversary. They celebrated it quietly holding hands in his room at The Manor, the facility they were both in.

Rest in peace Grandpa LeBlanc. I will miss you.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

"White" Thanksgiving

I just read an article at I found myself laughing and thinking this must have been what Gee said to himself the first big family get together he attended. The article talks of this black woman visiting her white boyfriend's family for the first time. They walk in and she begins to wonder if they are early, she can't smell the collard greens cooking, looking at the table she sees no hot sauce, or anything that would require hot sauce for that matter. Never mind the chitlins, or corn bread....

Then I thought how our family meals had changed with Gee coming into our family. We never had collard greens, or fried cabbage, fried corn what could that possibly be, and candied sweet potatoes had not been the tradition they have become. Not to mention potato salad, deviled eggs and sweet potato pie. Who in our family would have ever bought a ham hock and know how to cook them without him. Ribs and chicken wings, grits and eggs, cornbread and biscuits the list is endless. Never mind the fine art of BBQs over charcoal.

How he enriched all of our lives..... and dared to ask my mother, "where's the meat!!"

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Joys of Mondays

For the 4th time in less than 3 years I have a teacher leaving. This one has never been happy about coming to my room. She's an inclusion teacher, who has been out so much that this room was her last chance....well she found a new job in Fitchburg. She isn't coming back after Thanksgiving. She isn't coming in today either....migraine again. I thought she would make it through her last full week but I was wrong.

I can't wait for the break. I am tired. The boys are just exhausting. A and F both need so much  one to one attention you feel you are getting pulled back and forth all day. F seldom comes in on a Monday, but he'll be here today because I'll be alone, and this was A's weekend to be with Dad....never ends well. If he goes he wont have been on meds all weekend (Dad doesn't think they are necessary) or he didn't show. Either way today will be awful. Top it off with a visit from the May Institute, my day will be complete! Dan is always full of suggestions for A and they always include more paperwork for me to keep track of.....

As I thought F was at school today, in his normal, I'm bored, I'm tired, I want to go I told him to just go....just make sure you sign out in the front office..........

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Never Listen to Country Music When You're Sad

Coffee black, cigarettes,
start this day, like all the rest,
First thing every morning that I do,
is start missing you

Some broken hearts never mend,
some memories never end,
some tears will never dry,
my love for you will never die

Should never listen to old country songs when you are sad..........

I don't know why, but tonight has been one of those feeling sorry for myself nights. What brings them on I really don't know. Maybe it was the news that one of the teachers is getting married ( number 4) on Friday. Just made the announcement, out of the blue.

 It's not that I want to get married again, or even be in a relationship, I don't, it's just I miss being in one with Gee. It is very hard to explain. The things I miss the most are the small things you wouldn't think you'd miss. I miss hearing him breath at night, the feeling of him in the bed next to me, the smell of his cologne in my car after he's used it. All those things that no one ever thinks of until they are gone.

You would think after almost a year things would have some feeling of normalcy. Well they don't. Every day is a struggle just to get out of bed. The kids, the animals they are the only things that keep me going.

I'm sure a lot of these feelings are all connected with the holidays coming. Rachel nagged me into decorating the house for Halloween. Had me put out the few things we have for Thanksgiving.  I told her to accept the invitation to dinner at Steve's, but she didn't she is dragging me to BJ's. Not looking forward to Christmas. I haven't asked but I assume Clayton and Katie will be heading to Tennessee. I really miss Jack when they go but I wont be any kind of fun this year anyway so it really doesn't matter.

 Maybe that's what it is nothing really matters to me right now.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Mouse Whisperer

Rachel truly is the mouse whisperer. We had an incident this weekend with a mouse in the house. I am absolutely terrified of rodents. Really, I have sweaty palms, weak knees, the whole nine yards. Gee would laugh at me...saying crap like it makes no sense....yeah that's why it's called an irrational fear!!!!

First some background. About three years ago,this same time of year, I heard something in the hall. When I went to see what it was the cat was rolling on the carpet. I said something like hi kitty and out of the corner of my eye I saw something move, a chipmunk was sitting on the hall table cleaning his whiskers...I screamed, the chipmunk jumped off the table, cat chasing it down. I'm yelling at Gee get it, get it.....anyway I called my friend Laureen what do I do....her husband David tells me open the doors, make a racket by beating on some pans and it should run out....ok I open the doors and start beating the crap out of a metal bowl, Gee starts yelling he's not heating the outside and shuts the doors, I start yelling If you'd just help me get the little bastard out we could shut the doors... then it runs from the dining room almost over Gee's feet. So we open the doors and start beating them again making a hell of a racket, out the door goes the chipmunk.

So fast forward to late Thursday. Rachel wakes me up about 1 am, the cellar door is open and the cat was chasing something. I get up put the hall light on and there they go the cat running after a mouse. Shit, ok well what now.....we left the hall light on, shut the bedroom doors and hoped the cat got the mouse. The cat spent the day looking at the hall clock. Next day he's watching the radiator in the kitchen. I'm thinking the little bugger got away, until this afternoon. Fred is in the kitchen trying to dig his way under the hutch in the kitchen....what is wrong with you dopey dog and then I see it running back and forth along that wall in the kitchen!! So now I'm standing on a chair beating around the hutch with a broom and off he runs behind the dog cage into the living room under the couch. So we put Fred out and open the door, I am beating this metal bowl to death with a wooden spoon and Rachel is watching me not quite laughing but is very amused at this point, because it isn't working. I go back in the kitchen and she says I see him very quietly. He's smelling the fresh air, every time he comes out a bit further and runs back but after about 30 minutes the little bugger makes a run for the door and out he goes!!! She shuts the door and laughs at me.... What would I have done if she hadn't been home? I have no idea. Thankfully I don't have to figure that out!
One very long week finally over. We have had the absolute day from hell. A was just uncontrollable. Literally banging his head against the wall. Why one might ask....he tells me he likes doing it. He found out that wouldn't get him suspended so he took a marker and drew on the rug. Now he's happy, 3 days at home, destruction of school property.

 F's and his sister come running down the 7th grade hall way, B pushes F into the wall yelling "give me the money." Guess F took money from his Mom and she needed it back. After tackling F, B got the's a family thing says the Dean of Students....well maybe but it happened in front of a hallway full of other kids.

The 8th grade had the yearly "talk" with the principle....keep your hands to yourself, none of the usual nonsense, including public displays of affection, corn dogging, for those uninformed that's a knee to the butt, bottlecaping, poking one in the throat, or nipple twists, one of the boys favorites, and the newest nasty, "it's just something we do"thing they have come up with...licking each other. Yup you read correctly they lick each other. This years 8th grade is sooo tiring. They are loud, rude and just down right nasty to each other, never mind staff. These are the worse behaved kids we have seen in alot of years. On of the 7th grade teachers told us last year, "Just wait, these guys are the worse..." she was right.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Snow Snow and more Snow

It's only October and we have gotten 24" of snow. If that isn't bad enough my snow blower wouldn't start!! With the help of one of the neighbors I got it all cleaned up. Well most of it anyway. I still have some on the deck to get rid of, but the dog can get out and most of the weight is off. First chance I get I'm off to the Toro store for a new snow blower. I can feel my muscles already, took two aleve and now I just hope I can get up in the morning!!


Well my credit card balance is a bit heavier....just bought a new snow blower. What a beast, Rachel says the other snow blowers wont laugh at us anymore. The one I picked turns on its own, no muscling needed, so Rachel should be able to run it if necessary. One of the neighbors told me to go to this place, the service everything they sell, pick up and delivery free,.. he got his there and wasn't anymore expensive than where I I just hope I don't need it!

Rachel has been home since Sunday, Westfield has had no power. She got the all call yesterday, classes resume on Wednesday morning. She was really happy about being home, she got to hand out candy last night, just loves Halloween. Jack was so cute....Superman to the rescue!!

My schedule is changing at work again. This time it is because of one of my students can't seem to behave in his classes. He will spend most of his day in my room until he can. He will be "so plesant" when he finds out this morning when he gets back from being suspended, for the 3rd time this year....yes it is only November 1st. Otherwise nothing changes at the Middle School.