Lynda's Dream, another sign?

My friend Lynda has been having a recurring dream of Gee. In her dream he is singing the Nat King Cole song Autumn Leaves. After he finishes the song he tells Lynda, "tell Robin, honey mustard yellow shirt". She asks him what does that mean, he laughs, that big loud laugh, and says, "she'll figure it out", and she wakes. It is always about 3 am.

Freaky thing is...I have been waking up about 3, jokingly telling her to stop making so much noise she's waking me up now....not knowing about the dreams. After a few days and dreams she tells me about her dream. Neither have woken up at 3am since, an she no longer has the dream.

Listening to the song, I hear Gee's voice, missing him so very much, the tears falling as I play it over and over. Soon it will be three years since he died, still feels like yesterday.

The falling leaves drift by the window The autumn leaves of red and gold I see your lips, the summer kisses The sun-burned hands I used to hold Since you went away the days grow long And soon I'll hear old winter's song But I miss you most of all my darling When autumn leaves start to fall

Freddie The Wonder Dog

Fred scared me this week. He has been sick again. Lethargic, retching and just miserable. He was so unsteady on his feet I was sure he was going to collapse. I'm sure the heat didn't help but he looked like this was it....I was going to lose my constant companion this time.

So like every other time we withheld food for 24 hours. The vet usually says food and water but with the heat as bad as it is that wasn't an option. Yesterday he looked better in the morning, not good but better. He ate his bland rice and boiled chicken and kept it down. Then in the afternoon he seemed to get very unstable using the wall as guide when he walked. Even his eyes looked like he was in distress.

So now comes the question.....do I call the vet. We have gone through these episodes before. They are connected with his Lyme disease. The fear was what if it isn't his Lyme, what if it is something else.

 Rachel, being more level headed about him than I, convinced me to hold off until morning. So I carried him upstairs to bed, ( he can't do the stairs anymore) closed the gate so he wouldn't fall down, or try to go down stairs and went to bed.

This morning I was greeted by a happy tail wagging old dog !! Yeah he still can't climb the stairs.... He still can't see anything if it isn't right in front of him.... He is still shaky on his feet.....He still forgets he's housebroken sometimes..... but he's still my Freddie. He is still following me where ever I go, even if it takes him a bit longer to get up to do it.

SCHOOL'S OUT, STEVE'S IN

The end of the school year is finally here! This has been a hard year for me, lots of changes. I started on the 8th grade floor with F and V, moved to the 7th grade floor with those guys L, T and Y and ended up in an unofficial 1:1 role with JM. So what does next year bring for me.... another new teacher! This makes number 8, I believe. My teacher from this year is pregnant and is due in late August. She is planning on staying home until the kids return after Christmas break in January. I have taken over the class in the past but I don;t see that happening for this. First I am not certified to teach as a long term sub and second the program has changed so very much this year I don't want to be the sub. I am very happy working in the classroom supporting the students with their school work instead of the social/psycho issues that have become Project Support.

The end of the year "meeting" went very well. It was held at Josh's house. Most everyone came...It was sad to know Brent wont be with us next year, he is retiring. Off to discover the wilds of the world, he said.....Grandpa hood!

I have bags and boxes of stuff everywhere. I can barely get to the plants in the dinning room, Clayton's old room is full to over flowing with two accordions, two tubas, two keyboards and two groups of college crap that needs to go back to Westfield and UMASS....Steven has moved in to the building!

It has been a rough few months for my future son in law. His folks broke up just before Thanksgiving and now his Mom has moved to NH, Dad is off pursuing other "interests" and Steve is kind of lost in the shuffle. So when Rachel asked could he live here I said of course he could.  He is helpful and willing to do anything I ask him to, besides he's soon to be family....after graduation.

Fred is really showing his age. He sleeps most of the time. We have to help him on the stairs, using a baby gate to insure he doesn't fall down at night. His hind legs are not very stable and he often leans into things to get support. He gets "stuck" in corners, forgets that he was once housebroken, and can't see for crap. His tail still wags, he follows me everywhere in the house and doesn't seem to be in any pain, except the occasional stiffness of old age, so for now I think we're good. I can't even think of the alternative.

PLAY BALL

Went to Fenway Park Saturday, the first time in 40 plus years. The place still looks like I remember it. Only this time I was there because I wanted to be. My father made me go the last time.

I was with my cousins from Connecticut, my father's youngest brothers kids, who died very young in a plane crash, and the Hecker boys, the wild children, who lived up on the hill where my Grandmothers farm was. I was the only girl and the only one who didn't care for baseball.

My uncle had hired a bus, bought the tickets, and my father said I had to go...it might be the only thing I ever got out of Walt, he was so right!

I remember it was a Yankee game, my Connecticut cousins major fans. I sat with my youngest cousin, Dougie, who was keeping the score card and trying to explain what was going on. I don't remember who won, have to say I didn't really care, I was so board.

Fast forward to this game. The kids gave me two tickets to a Cleveland Indians game. Laureen and I headed to Boston in the rain. We parked at the subway station, managed to find our way to the park on our own.  Our seats were covered so we were protected from the rain. John Lester was pitching, David Ortiz is back from the DL, the Sox won, what more could one ask.... well, the annoying guy from Cleveland that sat behind us could have moved on. First he moved to that seat in the 6th inning, after the occupant's left, he had extraordinary eye sight, being able to call balls and strikes from the stands just to the left of right field. The best part of the whole game was the 2 run double that put the Sox ahead in the 8th that they never relinquished.

All in all it was a great return to Fenway....hope it doesn't take another 40 years to get back.

FRIED CHICKEN

Would you think just the act of frying chicken would bring a flood of memories.....I didn't either, I was wrong.

Rachel requested fried chicken for dinner. I haven't fried chicken since Gee died. It was one of his favorite meals, chicken, collard greens, potato salad and cornbread. The last time I made that for him he was at the Highlands. I cooked for him everyday, just like he was coming home from work. I would come home from work and start dinner. When it was done I would pack it up and head to Fitchburg and we would have dinner. Teddy, Gee's roommate, was always welcome to join us.

I would get off the elevator and there was a CNA, a tall, black man, who would ask what was for dinner. He would tell Gee how lucky he was, my wife don't cook like that....  Gee would always say, "that's cause you ain't as pretty as me."

People I work with, mostly young and single, don't understand "how" I could do that. weren't you tired after working all day? Strangely no, or at least I don't remember being tired. Part of that was with Gee at the Highlands I was getting better restful sleep, not listening for his every move. Also, you just do the things you need to do. He needed to eat and wasn't going to eat the food that was served. He always said he wasn't picky....no, as long as I cooked what he liked! 

I still don't understand what is so amazing to people, my taking care of Gee. Maybe I never will. All I know is I can see that room as if I was standing in it...Gee's face lighting up when I walked in the room. I guess that's "how" I did it.

JUST SUPPORT STAFF

I haven't written much over the last few weeks. I have not been in the right frame of mind.

I have been moved back into the black hole called Project Support. We have a new student that can not go into classes, so I have been babysitting. He can't go to classes because he is known to be violent, has a filthy mouth, and lets say he likes Irish people......

I am not getting sub pay though, he has a "teacher". who he sees for one hour a day. I am "just support staff". Yup, that is what I was told. So, when the teacher couldn't explain to him how to solve a two step equation, I was just sitting there waiting, being just support staff. I probably should have jumped in and answered his questions however, the last time I did that I found myself with a first block class, while the teacher goes over the daily lessons. Not that I might need to know what the teacher wants....I am after all just support staff.

It's Official

My baby girl is engaged to be married! My gosh I just came to terms that she was 21, now this! The news came last night. Rachel called saying through her tears, I'm so happy... Steve had given her his grandmother's diamond ring.

What started as an 8th grade infatuation has grown to this. The first time Gee saw Steve he was sliding down our stairs on his butt, laughing. Steve has always been there. When Rachel had heat stroke at the Memorial Parade, he just followed me to the car and got in, following the ambulance to the ER. Each time Gee was in the hospital, he was there holding her hand, giving her what comfort he could. When Gee died, he came in the door engulfing her in his big bear hug and you could see her melt, knowing she would be safe there.

I have a picture of them on the table in the hall, even back then I could see the love they have for each other.  So lets make it offical....

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY STEVEN