melancholy

Sadness washes over me in waves, engulfing me in a blanket of melancholy.  Three months, it's only been three months he's been gone. It seems like forever since I heard his voice, that laugh. felt his hand in mine.
 Someone in the school is using Gee's cologne....or I am imagining it. I was in the entryway yesterday, going to make copies of something, and there it was, my heart jumped. 

I have been thinking of my grandmother of late. Julia was such a kind loving lady. I never heard her say a bad word about anyone. She always excepted us for who we were, never any criticism from her. Maybe that came from growing up being passed from relative to relative. I don't know. I only know I could always tell her my secrets and they would be safe with her.

One Thanksgiving soon after I met Gee, my mother told Julia that my "friend" was coming to dinner. They didn,'t want her to be surprised that he was black, she never missed a beat and said she already knew. It wasn't a big deal for her, she just wanted to be sure I was happy. She may have had her concerns, might have voiced them to others, but never me. To me all she said he seemed a nice man.

Rachel is named after her, Julia is her middle name. Rach is very much like her, kind, caring, loving. Her friends all know her as the one who keeps secrets at least the ones safe for her to keep. I think these qualities are what will make her a great hospice social worker.

So many memories.......