Monday, May 9, 2011


Five Months.....has it really been that long? Doesn't seem like it. I guess I am coping now better than I did last month. I miss Gee everyday, so much my heart aches for him. Everyday something happens that I wish I could tell him. To talk to him again, just talk, nothing special what I wouldn't give.Or to hear that laugh that was so much a part of him, so loud so genuine.

 I don't wake up at night thinking I hear him call any more however, he is always with me, I say "as Gee would say" so often you would think he was standing having the conversation with us. I don't wait until I'm falling asleep to go to bed and I don't avoid going out thinking someone will ask about Gee, or tell me how sorry they are...I guess that is a step forward.

Summer vacation is coming. I don't know how things will go staying home and having all that time with nothing to do. I haven't found a part time job yet. I also need to go to the college to see what kind of funding I am eligible for. I had planned on going on in school after receiving my Associates Degree, then Gee got sick. I don't really know why I stopped when I did, he was still pretty independent.. Maybe I somehow knew how soon he would leave me and I didn't want to be away from home that much...who knows.

I have a student I work one to one with everyday. Science is a major issue for him, I have written of him before. I was trying to explain the difference between heart attack and heart failure. He tests 2nd grade so things need to be simple, and suddenly I could not say another word. I knew if I did I would break down. This has never happened at school before. Never have any of the kids seen me that close to falling apart. I know he felt very uncomfortable. All he said was we can do something else Mrs G. it's ok.

So are things better or just different. I guess I'd have to say both. Like all things I am evolving into a phase what it will bring, I don't know, guess I'll have to wait and see.

1 comment:

  1. Aunt Robin,
    I checked with the Vet Affairs Rep here at work and she said to check with the Vet Affairs Office at the school you're looking at to see what you may qualify for. Something to think about.

    You have great kids to work with, what a sweetheart.