December 18.....Three Years

Three years gone, hardly a second has passed that I don't miss his laugh, his common logic, his words of hard earned wisdom. I find myself saying, "as Gee would say".... quite often.  I also find myself asking , what would Gee do, all the time. He was such an intelligent man. I often wonder what he would have become if he had the opportunities he made sure his children had.

So life has moved on for his children. Rachel will graduate in May. She is applying to graduate schools and hopes to find the money to go full time. Then she and Steve will set the date for the wedding. Right now all we really know is it will be in October, after they both graduate.

Clayton and Katie are waiting the arrival of the new baby boy. He is due in January. Jack can't wait to be a big brother. Has named the baby ...Calico Jack....I think he's been voted down. Clayton is loving his job in Boston. I don't think he likes the commute, but the excitement of the city appeals to him. Katie is settling in at the high school she works at. This year she will receive professional status.

Has life moved on for me? I guess I have to say yes, to getting used to being on my own. I get up and go to work everyday. Knowing I will have to be one of many people today, mother, teacher, councilor, for my students. This school year hasn't been bad for me. My new teacher is wonderful. Kate really knows what she's doing. Many of her plans take time to show improvement in behavior, however given some time they really do work. The game night ladies keep me busy. Lynda drags me to almost anything she can think off, school dances, school committee meetings, meat raffles and not to forget Christmas shopping.

Kate

Another year, another new teacher.

Is this 8 or 9, I've lost count.

This one was worth the wait! Kate is a straight shooter, no bullshit kind of woman. Relatively young, just 30, smart, and funny. What more can you ask for.

Well for her to stick around for more than a year or two, might be good. She has been a sped director in a charter school. I asked her why the return to teaching?   She isn't certified for public school. Well, what's holding you back? She needs to put together a portfolio......really, that's it. What are you waiting for.  Not that this is an easy task, very time consuming, but if you have all the rest in place lets get going here!!

Not that I want to loose her to some other sped department, however she's to young and to good to waste her talents. She has plans for this program, Project Support, that are really innovative. Things no one and I do mean no one has even thought of before.  How about making the kids accountable for their actions!! Oh what a concept, who'd have thought it. Not giving in to them and suspending them, she calls it "shutting them down". Very much like in house suspension except your time in "isolation" doesn't even start until you comply to what ever got you there. It can be as simple as making it through the day without storming out of the room. Took one girl 3 days before she figured it out. Every day she left our room with out permission she was sent home....parents had to come get her and we would start again the next day. Sounds like she got her way, she got to go home, but the next morning we were back to phase one.....isolation..... no interaction with anyone but Kate or I, no social interaction at all, no breaks, no United Arts, no lunch with peers, nothing. She hasn't felt the need to storm out again.  She now has a new behavior program to follow, 3 ten minute passes to use as she likes to leave the classroom.....to go to guidance office, the nurse, or just to us for a cool down.... any banked breaks can be saved and traded for special privileges.  She does need to use them appropriately, ask the teacher to use a pass, tell the teacher where she is going and sign out of the room as all students must do. As of Friday, 2 weeks and going strong!

It is so nice to go to work and have someone who appreciates what you do everyday. Some one who knows these kids can erupt at any moment and still comes to work, not just for the paycheck, but because she loves working with them. We at the Middle School have been waiting a long time for Kate, just hope she sticks around for awhile. She says she's not going anywhere for a while....

WELCOME KATE, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!!!

Lynda's Dream, another sign?

My friend Lynda has been having a recurring dream of Gee. In her dream he is singing the Nat King Cole song Autumn Leaves. After he finishes the song he tells Lynda, "tell Robin, honey mustard yellow shirt". She asks him what does that mean, he laughs, that big loud laugh, and says, "she'll figure it out", and she wakes. It is always about 3 am.

Freaky thing is...I have been waking up about 3, jokingly telling her to stop making so much noise she's waking me up now....not knowing about the dreams. After a few days and dreams she tells me about her dream. Neither have woken up at 3am since, an she no longer has the dream.

Listening to the song, I hear Gee's voice, missing him so very much, the tears falling as I play it over and over. Soon it will be three years since he died, still feels like yesterday.

The falling leaves drift by the window The autumn leaves of red and gold I see your lips, the summer kisses The sun-burned hands I used to hold Since you went away the days grow long And soon I'll hear old winter's song But I miss you most of all my darling When autumn leaves start to fall

Freddie The Wonder Dog

Fred scared me this week. He has been sick again. Lethargic, retching and just miserable. He was so unsteady on his feet I was sure he was going to collapse. I'm sure the heat didn't help but he looked like this was it....I was going to lose my constant companion this time.

So like every other time we withheld food for 24 hours. The vet usually says food and water but with the heat as bad as it is that wasn't an option. Yesterday he looked better in the morning, not good but better. He ate his bland rice and boiled chicken and kept it down. Then in the afternoon he seemed to get very unstable using the wall as guide when he walked. Even his eyes looked like he was in distress.

So now comes the question.....do I call the vet. We have gone through these episodes before. They are connected with his Lyme disease. The fear was what if it isn't his Lyme, what if it is something else.

 Rachel, being more level headed about him than I, convinced me to hold off until morning. So I carried him upstairs to bed, ( he can't do the stairs anymore) closed the gate so he wouldn't fall down, or try to go down stairs and went to bed.

This morning I was greeted by a happy tail wagging old dog !! Yeah he still can't climb the stairs.... He still can't see anything if it isn't right in front of him.... He is still shaky on his feet.....He still forgets he's housebroken sometimes..... but he's still my Freddie. He is still following me where ever I go, even if it takes him a bit longer to get up to do it.

SCHOOL'S OUT, STEVE'S IN

The end of the school year is finally here! This has been a hard year for me, lots of changes. I started on the 8th grade floor with F and V, moved to the 7th grade floor with those guys L, T and Y and ended up in an unofficial 1:1 role with JM. So what does next year bring for me.... another new teacher! This makes number 8, I believe. My teacher from this year is pregnant and is due in late August. She is planning on staying home until the kids return after Christmas break in January. I have taken over the class in the past but I don;t see that happening for this. First I am not certified to teach as a long term sub and second the program has changed so very much this year I don't want to be the sub. I am very happy working in the classroom supporting the students with their school work instead of the social/psycho issues that have become Project Support.

The end of the year "meeting" went very well. It was held at Josh's house. Most everyone came...It was sad to know Brent wont be with us next year, he is retiring. Off to discover the wilds of the world, he said.....Grandpa hood!

I have bags and boxes of stuff everywhere. I can barely get to the plants in the dinning room, Clayton's old room is full to over flowing with two accordions, two tubas, two keyboards and two groups of college crap that needs to go back to Westfield and UMASS....Steven has moved in to the building!

It has been a rough few months for my future son in law. His folks broke up just before Thanksgiving and now his Mom has moved to NH, Dad is off pursuing other "interests" and Steve is kind of lost in the shuffle. So when Rachel asked could he live here I said of course he could.  He is helpful and willing to do anything I ask him to, besides he's soon to be family....after graduation.

Fred is really showing his age. He sleeps most of the time. We have to help him on the stairs, using a baby gate to insure he doesn't fall down at night. His hind legs are not very stable and he often leans into things to get support. He gets "stuck" in corners, forgets that he was once housebroken, and can't see for crap. His tail still wags, he follows me everywhere in the house and doesn't seem to be in any pain, except the occasional stiffness of old age, so for now I think we're good. I can't even think of the alternative.

PLAY BALL

Went to Fenway Park Saturday, the first time in 40 plus years. The place still looks like I remember it. Only this time I was there because I wanted to be. My father made me go the last time.

I was with my cousins from Connecticut, my father's youngest brothers kids, who died very young in a plane crash, and the Hecker boys, the wild children, who lived up on the hill where my Grandmothers farm was. I was the only girl and the only one who didn't care for baseball.

My uncle had hired a bus, bought the tickets, and my father said I had to go...it might be the only thing I ever got out of Walt, he was so right!

I remember it was a Yankee game, my Connecticut cousins major fans. I sat with my youngest cousin, Dougie, who was keeping the score card and trying to explain what was going on. I don't remember who won, have to say I didn't really care, I was so board.

Fast forward to this game. The kids gave me two tickets to a Cleveland Indians game. Laureen and I headed to Boston in the rain. We parked at the subway station, managed to find our way to the park on our own.  Our seats were covered so we were protected from the rain. John Lester was pitching, David Ortiz is back from the DL, the Sox won, what more could one ask.... well, the annoying guy from Cleveland that sat behind us could have moved on. First he moved to that seat in the 6th inning, after the occupant's left, he had extraordinary eye sight, being able to call balls and strikes from the stands just to the left of right field. The best part of the whole game was the 2 run double that put the Sox ahead in the 8th that they never relinquished.

All in all it was a great return to Fenway....hope it doesn't take another 40 years to get back.

FRIED CHICKEN

Would you think just the act of frying chicken would bring a flood of memories.....I didn't either, I was wrong.

Rachel requested fried chicken for dinner. I haven't fried chicken since Gee died. It was one of his favorite meals, chicken, collard greens, potato salad and cornbread. The last time I made that for him he was at the Highlands. I cooked for him everyday, just like he was coming home from work. I would come home from work and start dinner. When it was done I would pack it up and head to Fitchburg and we would have dinner. Teddy, Gee's roommate, was always welcome to join us.

I would get off the elevator and there was a CNA, a tall, black man, who would ask what was for dinner. He would tell Gee how lucky he was, my wife don't cook like that....  Gee would always say, "that's cause you ain't as pretty as me."

People I work with, mostly young and single, don't understand "how" I could do that. weren't you tired after working all day? Strangely no, or at least I don't remember being tired. Part of that was with Gee at the Highlands I was getting better restful sleep, not listening for his every move. Also, you just do the things you need to do. He needed to eat and wasn't going to eat the food that was served. He always said he wasn't picky....no, as long as I cooked what he liked! 

I still don't understand what is so amazing to people, my taking care of Gee. Maybe I never will. All I know is I can see that room as if I was standing in it...Gee's face lighting up when I walked in the room. I guess that's "how" I did it.