Monday, September 19, 2011

melt down

melt down.....not one of my kids, me......going over my new, new schedule today I told the Dean I'm done .... I'm done, this is the one place that I'm not supposed to have to think about what I'm doing, I should know what I'm doing and I don't..... and then I started crying...... I never bring those feelings to school.....they are to stay at home waiting to be revisited....not to be reveled to others.... no one knew Gee's birthday was yesterday, I don't talk of Gee to anyone, oh the Gee would say or Gee did, sure but never ever how I feel about him or anything even close....I can't....I feel if I ever did I could not stop and I would be lost forever.....  how can you tell someone that you have lost your soul....that you are empty inside, there is nothing left of you because you gave it all to one who is gone...and they took it with them....maybe he needed it for the strength to leave ...... no one really wants to know these things....they want to hear you lie and say all is well.....

1 comment: