I have always just loved Halloween, costumes, movies, carving pumpkins, the excitement of the kids, just everything. I have almost more decorations for Halloween than for Christmas. Last year I didn't decorate much, just a few things for Jack. Gee was at the Highlands, just wasn't up to it.
Not really up for it this year either. Just seems like it's such a chore to do anything. Getting the regular stuff done takes to much energy. I'm lucky I get the laundry done. Even then sometimes, most times I have to rewash something because I left a batch of clothes in the washer. None of it means anything to me.
I thought it was supposed to get better with time.... nothing changes really. Missing him as much now as I did in December. Each time I post I want write something happy....and then this overwhelming sadness takes over. Maybe it's because when I write so many memories flood over me. I saw gizzards in the grocery store and I hear him say "fry em hard Rob, where's the hot sauce" Everywhere I go everything I do there is the memory of Gee. I only wish they would bring a smile instead of a tear.