Saturday, April 9, 2011


Reality. I got a post card to tell me Gee's stone has been set at the cemetery. Why has this brought on a new bout of melancholy, I guess it brings a finality to it all. I have been in such a depressed state of mind. I hate what I'm doing right now, babysitting a bunch of brats that no one makes accountable for anything. Instead of helping someone learn how to find the hypotenuse of a triangle I am telling these brats over and over to sit down....right now Wal -Mart looks pretty good.

I have been just sad these past few days......could be the job, but I don't think that's it. My friend Lynda said its the coming spring. Another season without Gee. She said when her Dad died she went through something similar because spring was when her dad would re-emerge from his winter "hibernation" and start to visit more. I have also been getting things together to refinance the house, I need to talk to someone about a few repairs on the house, I have unclaimed property of Dads I need to take care of,  I want to talk to  financial aide  about going back to school, the yard work that needs to get done, the list is endless. It always was but now it is just my list not our list.

Gee's sisters will be coming soon. They have been very good calling me every few weeks. Babygirl has just added me to her list of people she needs to care for.  The mother of the clan I suppose. Clayton has found that their grandfather Jessie was born a slave on the Gullatt plantation in Georgia. Brings the whole concept of slavery from distant history to part of our own history. My children's great-grandfather was born a slave, and the name they carry comes from the  man who owned him.

The reading class I was in has been reading a book, Roll of Thunder, Hear my Cry, written about a family of black farmers in the 1930's. Gee was born in 1934...this book reflected many of the stories he has told over the years. Picking cotton, being hungry, carefully making his way in the south as a black child. We come from such different places fate or God, take your pick, must have wanted us together. How else would we ever have found each other.

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