Saturday, January 1, 2011


Funerals are for the living, for those left behind to share their grief and comfort each other. Someone told me that once.

Gee wanted Military Honors and that's all. Honor guard, gun salute, taps....short and to the point, just like him. Only family to attend.

His older children wanted the funeral they remember of their grandparents. They wanted the wake, the minister, the service in the church, written programs with his life's history, family flying in from all over the country. Way over the top, not Gee at all.

Determined to stand my ground refusing any options other than what Gee wanted I see Gweno, full of anguish and pain. Of all his children she knows him the least. She was only 3 or 4 when Gee left for Korea never to really to come back. He was a voice on the phone, a Christmas present, a birthday card and a week in the summer. She needed more, she needed something that would make these days seem normal to her. So compromises needed to b made.

I agreed to open his service to the public, to gather together after to have lunch and tell stories and to gather strength from each other. A small gesture that made such a difference to her and to many others. So many came, neighbors, friends,track people, basketball people, softball people, football people, standing room only.  All feeling the need to gather together to say good-bye to a man who was larger than life and who touched the lives of everyone he ever met.

Funerals are for the living.......

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